I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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