I accidentally burped into my bong.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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