We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
