help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
