all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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