Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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