the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
