When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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