yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
