I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
