Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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