You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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