I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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