Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
