the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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