I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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