Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i dont even know how to be here
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
