Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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