so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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