Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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