I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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