I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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