She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
