DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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