We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
