So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
