His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
