I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
