so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
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