I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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