ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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