how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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