sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
