Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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