If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize
