I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
