there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
