She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
