That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
