so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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