If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
