yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize
