I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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