he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
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