we made out on top of his cat.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
