they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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