I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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