i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
