I got chris browned last night
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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