Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
