dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
